Thursday, August 13, 2015

Pinchback Party of SEVEN


Little Miss has an announcement and mama wakes up with a little panic in her belly every morning.

FIVE children. Five children six and under. Lord, help me.

Two weeks ago I spent an hour digging through all of our bills, prepping the financial section of our foster license renewal and Ben hunched over our house plans looking for room dimensions. Every year I say I'm going to make a copy of the paperwork and every year I am filling it out at the last minute and don't have time.

I am never doing this, again, I said. I hate the paperwork that much. Because Missy's adoption is still not finalized, we didn't have a choice. As I finished up, I muttered to the Lord, "Any additional children you have for us have to come, this year. I can't do this again." 

I need a break from all of it.

Of course, our licensing worker came and asked us if we would adopt Baby Brother. That's how God works in our life. He never lets us get too comfortable. 

Remember this post when Ben begged me not to fall in love with Baby Brother - when Little Miss and I went to meet him? I'm not sure why we never did a visit after that. I didn't ask because we had enough chaos in our schedule.

I remember the exact moment she told me she was pregnant with him. The moment I laid hands on her and prayed that God would help her push through and conquer addiction. I can't explain the love I have for this young girl and even though I hoped that Baby Brother's foster family would adopt him, I think I always knew we would say yes if needed.

Earlier, this summer, we were told that Baby Brother's case was going to move toward parental termination, quickly, because mom wasn't participating and that his foster family wasn't sure about adoption. We were already overwhelmed and started asking some of our closest friends and family if they would consider adopting him to keep him close. 

Three weeks ago, my girlfriend and I prepared for a garage sale and I sold all my baby stuff. I was confident that we were done with babies, but at the last minute, I did pull my toddler boys clothes "just in case". It never crossed my mind that Baby Brother would need an adoptive family this soon. He's only five months old.

The case worker asked us last Wednesday night and we had until Monday morning to decide.

From the moment she asked, my heart screamed yes. I didn't even have to think. I'm a lover and jump in with both feet every time. Ben didn't have to say a word...I knew his answer was no.

He is our provider and protector and already feels stretched beyond capacity. He humored me, that night, and I talked through solutions to every challenge (there are many). Before we went to bed, I asked him to keep his heart open and, prayerfully, consider his answer through the weekend. 

I trust God in all things and I also trust my husband's leadership. My reckless love can lead me astray sometimes. I appreciate Ben's steady heart and told him so. He needed to know that if his answer was "no", my heart wouldn't hold anger or resentment. Frankly, I would have been relieved.

I felt pressed all weekend and I was in and out of tears for most of it. The pressure of such a major life decision weighed, heavily, on both of us. Our four babies were at the forefront of our concern.

On Sunday night, my mom came put the kids to bed and Ben and I headed to the grocery store. The perfect environment for long, meaningful conversations. By the time we walked in, our decision was made and tears were flooding my face.

I have spent all week praising God for giving me a husband whose love reflects the Father's. Ben gave me three reasons that led to his yes. And each one made me love him more.

He couldn't think of a greater way to honor our kids' mom and dad than by giving them the peace of mind that their babies are together; he felt that his greatest reasons for saying "no" were self-focused; and in the middle of worship on Sunday morning, when he cried out to God, he knew.

Ben asked the Lord, "Are you really asking this of me?" and not only did he hear "yes", but it was followed with a gentle, "I will find someone else if you can't do it." 

Ben didn't say yes to a five month old baby because I pressured him. He didn't say yes to caring for #5 because no one else would. Ben said, yes, because he never wants to be passed by.

Just like young Samuel, we shout, LORD! Here we are! We are ready for service. We can handle the work. Please don't ever pass us by.

Baby Brother should be home in September.





35 comments:

  1. Wow!!!! This is thrilling news! We will be praying for you!

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  2. Congratulations! I look forward to following the next chapter in your lives.

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  3. WOW!! Big hugs to you and your man. Seven Pinchbacks? Beautiful. Great number. The Lord's work in your lives is so beautiful.

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  4. I have tears streaming down my face. I too was in such a similar situation with my baby, our 9th child. I can't explain how thankful I am that we said yes to our sweet Britton. God will provide, lead and hold you when you feel at your end. I will pray for your family. I love your servant heart. God bless.

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  5. Praying for you guys as you prepare for the new baby.

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  6. Each time I read one of your posts, your words and actions lift my heart. You go, Rebekah.

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  7. Here I sit, crying at work. You inspire me. You and Ben and your beautiful babies. I love you. Julie

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  8. Congrats to your amazing family! God is good!

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  9. This is so awesome! This world needs more people like you and Ben! Praying for all of you!

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  10. Oh I am so excited for your family! Can't wait till we see your full forever family all together! Lots of diapers and lots of fun ahead! Little Miss will either be a very girly girl and very protect by her brothers or she will be a rough a tumble boy...keeping up with all her brothers! Exciting times for your family!

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  11. I keep checking back to see if Missy's adoption was finalized yet, can't wait to see her sweet face! Your family is beautiful, can't wait to meet baby brother!

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  12. Thanks for being the hands of feet of Jesus each and every day! For allowing God to work thru you in magnificent ways!

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  13. The long space between blog posts made me think something BIG was going on. I never considered this. So happy for you all. I am one of five kids, and let me tell you this: More siblings only means more fun. I never realize how much fun I have with them until we're all busy and not together.

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  14. "He never lets us get too comfortable". Oh how I love your updates and perspective and wisdom. My husband and I are in our 10th month as foster-adoptive parents to a sibling set of 3 kiddos. This journey has stretched me farther than I ever imagined and its sort of how I know its God's will. We are hoping to finalize the adoption by end of year. Our kids mother is young. We have never seen her but we know there is a baby brother out there in a different county who is now just over 1. We have always said we would take him should they need us to but secretly hope they dont because we are so stretched by going from 0 to 3. Instant family is crazy! Crazier than I could have imagined, but I am constantly reminded, by you and others with so much wisdom, that we serve a Mighty God whose plans are greater than ours and who never leaves us. He will get you through just like he is getting us through, because we surrendered our lives for his will, because we said yes to the unknown. Blessings to you as you prepared for #5!

    My theme song this year has been Oceans by Hillsong, Im sure you know it, but if not, I hope it brings you peace as you prepare!

    Spirit lead me where my trust is without borders
    Let me walk upon the waters
    Wherever You would call me
    Take me deeper than my feet could ever wander
    And my faith will be made stronger
    In the presence of my Savior

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  15. That was like reading about our decision to say yes to Joseph. Ben's answer was no and I told him I would support that BUT he had to take it up with God...we all see how that ended up. Praise God from who all blessings flow. HE is so amazing!!!!

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  16. I have been following your blog for several months, and I just adore your heart for God and people! I wanted to share our story to hopefully encourage you. I am a fellow foster/adoptive momma. Our oldest is almost 15 and we adopted him through a private agency at birth. We had a great experience with the agency, they are actually a non-profit Crisis Pregnancy Center and have such a vision to minister to birthmoms, they are amazing. But, when we were praying about adding more children to our family God clearly directed us to become foster parents. When our oldest was 8 years, we got a call for a 15 mth old baby boy, and then 4 mths later, we got a call for a newborn baby girl, and when I called my husband he immediately said yes, so we were picking her up at the hospital an hour later! So, we went from 1-3 kiddos in a matter of months. It was a roller coaster, as you know with foster care, but God moved miraculously and we were blessed to be able to adopt them both. When our daughter was 4, I desired another daughter so that she could have a sister, and God blessed us again with a beautiful 3 week old baby girl, before we finalized her adoption when she was 1 1/2, we found out her birthmom was pregnant. We really wanted to be done, with our perfect 2 boys 2 girls, but like with your family, God had other plans. We got the call for baby brother when he was 2 days old, and brought him home from the hospital, making 5 kiddos total. I completely understand all the emotions you experienced, because that is how we felt too. My husband was a little reluctant at first also, but has totally fallen in love with him. I tell you all this to say that now our baby boy is 11 mths old, his was the smoothest case we have ever had, and we were able to finalize his adoption when he was not even 8 months old! He is such a delight to our family, of course there are crazy busy times, but when we look at his precious smile and hear his wonderful laugh, he is soooo worth it, and we couldn't imagine our family without him! God has had a theme in my life since I was a teenager, of not taking the easy path, like in the poem of the road less traveled..."I took the one less traveled by, and that has made all the difference." Your family is taking that road, and it WILL make all the difference, and you will be so glad you did :) Praying as you make the transition with your newest treasure! Blessings!

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    1. May God continue to bless you and your sweet family, Kimi! What a beautiful story!

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  17. God Bless you and Ben. The gift you have given the birth parents is immeasurable. Your love and giving hearts are beautiful. Those kids are going to change this world and I can't wait to witness from afar. Sincerely, Marie from Downers Grove, IL

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  18. Hey, I went back and read that previous post and that made me think, did you ever mention how Little Miss's hearing is after her tube surgery? Did it improve as the doctors had hoped?

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  19. OH MY STARS! Now I know why you were pressing on my heart last night. I don't even know you (just emailed once before), but you were forefront on my mind and I prayed for you over and over. God is so cool like that, to connect us even without ever meeting. You can count on me praying even more now that I know the reasons. :-)

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  20. I admire you both so much. Baby brother is a lucky lucky boy.

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  21. Congrats!!! This is awesome... You and Ben are such a blessing to these children and their birth parents.

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  22. I really enjoy reading your blog and am so blessed to see how the Lord is using you and your husband to minister to children through foster care and adoption.

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  23. Oh I have been praying that you would get to adopt baby brother and little missy. As soon as I read about him. Having siblings together is such a wonderful gift and what an amazing family you have to accept all that God has put on your plates. Praying for your family and cannot wait to hear all of the wonderful things these five children do in their lives due to the guidance of your wonderful parenting.

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  24. Amazing news! I couldn't be happier for your family. God is so good!

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  25. Wow! That is incredible!

    If you need any baby boy clothes, let me know! I haven't gotten rid of any of my boys' clothes yet. I'd be happy to know they are going to an incredible home!

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  26. This is simply amazing! What a testimony to God's direction and love.
    Praying for every big and small detail to fall in place.

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  27. I am SO, SO very happy for you and your family!!!!! :-D

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  28. Welcome to the party of 7 crew! It's awesome! You'll always need at least a mini van, 2 hotel rooms, a booth at a restaurant, every old lady will stop to talk to you, you will be a walking circus show that attracts looks in every direction.... and its worth every second of it! We have 5 daughters through adoption. I have followed you for years. Your posts make my heart smile. Sweet little girl will be a princess with her 4 brothers! I love it!

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  29. So excited for you! Wonderful, amazing news!

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  30. Update to my earlier response, I just found on our kids birth mother is pregnant with baby #5 and due in 2 weeks. So crazy the timing of things put on our hearts by God.

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  31. Congratulations. I'm so happy all the sibs will be together.

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